I wonder as I wonder

The name of this blog post is a song, isn't it?

Anyway. Things are going well. I wish I was a better writer or had stuff going on in my life besides the same old. I don't really have friends to do stuff with anymore. It's Derrik, Jace, and me now. We all hang out during the day, then it's just Jace and I at night. And Jace goes to sleep between 8 & 9, then I am left to do my own thing - I catch up on my current shows, make some greeting cards, read, play on my tablet, and do chores I can't get done when Jace is awake. That's my life.

At first, I didn't like that. I've always been a social butterfly and have had lots of friends. But not anymore. Probably just because I'm in a different stage of life. Or people don't like me.

And I am now okay with that. I don't need friends. I have my family and that's all that matters to me.

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to win the lottery. I wonder what it will be like when it comes time for Derrik and I to have more children. Jace will be older (that's weird to think about!) and so he will be able to help in the ways he knows how. Hopefully by then we will be closer to having our own home, Derrik will have his own practice, and I'll be continuing my lifelong dream of being a mom. One who has after school snacks for my kids; one who goes to all the sports games; one who takes her kids to the park to play with their friends so I can visit with my friends - hopefully I'll have some by then. It's weird to think about, but it's also pretty great.




PS I'm currently reading The Paris Wife by Paula McLain & Tea Cups & Tiger Claws by Timothy Patrick.

I've just started both of them and I'm enjoying them both already.